When Diets Start to Feel Unsafe

A couple of weeks ago, I was at the gym with one of my lovely work colleagues. She’s an exercise physiologist, and although we work in the same space, we hadn’t spent much time together before.

As we trained, we chatted about the sports we played growing up. I asked her what lit her up back then.

Without hesitation, she said, “Volleyball.”

Her face softened as she spoke about it. She told me how much she loved it. How alive she felt playing. How it used to be her thing.

So I asked a simple question.

“Why don’t you play anymore?”

Her body answered before her words did.

Her shoulders slumped forward. Her head bowed. Her chest withdrew slightly, as if she was bracing. I remember thinking, oh… this isn’t just a ‘stopped playing’ story.

She told me about her high school coach.

A coach who belittled and berated the team during training.
A coach who would snap with comments like:

“Are you kidding me?”
“You should know better by now.”
“That was hopeless.”
“Your serves should be spot on every time.”

Encouragement only came on game day — when parents were watching.

In front of parents, the coach became a different person.
Supportive.
Positive.
Praising.

So much so that parents began questioning whether the harsh feedback was really happening at all.

Was it real?
Was she exaggerating?
Was it “that bad”?

When school finished, she stopped playing volleyball.

Not because she didn’t love it.
But because her body no longer felt safe there.

Now, anytime she even thinks about playing, her breath shortens.
She gets a knot in her stomach.
A wave of anxious activation moves through her.

Recently, she was on holiday with friends. They organised a casual, friendly volleyball game. Nothing serious. Just for fun.

And yet — for three days beforehand — she couldn’t stop thinking about it.
She felt anxious.
On edge.
Activated.

When the day came, the court they booked wasn’t available, so the game didn’t happen.

And part of her felt relieved.

Why This Story Matters (And Why It’s Not About Volleyball)

As she spoke, I couldn’t stop thinking about how many of us do this to ourselves — especially with food, dieting, and our bodies.

We put on a brave face in front of others.
We say, “I’m fine.”
“I’m back on track.”
“I’ve got this.”

But internally?

We berate ourselves.

Why did you eat that?
You’ve ruined it now.
You have no discipline.
You should know better.

And then we wonder why, months or years later, the thought of another plan, another diet, or trying again fills us with resistance, anxiety, or exhaustion.

Just like volleyball for my colleague — something that once lit her up — dieting becomes something the nervous system flags as danger.

Not because you’re broken.
But because your body learned.

The Nervous System Doesn’t Speak in Motivation — It Speaks in Safety

From a biological perspective, extreme restriction sends a clear signal:
“We are not safe.”

Your body doesn’t know it’s a “diet.”
It senses starvation.

And starvation, to the body, equals threat.

Psychologically, food becomes obsessive.
You think about it constantly.
You plan, over-plan, re-plan.
You oscillate between control and collapse.

And emotionally, when the plan doesn’t work — or you follow it perfectly and still don’t see results — your system becomes highly activated.

Shame.
Frustration.
Self-blame.

Eventually, the body does what it’s designed to do:
It avoids what feels dangerous.

Not because you’re weak.
But because your nervous system is intelligent.

Reflections

• What once felt supportive or exciting in your health journey that now feels heavy or unsafe?

• Where do you speak to yourself in ways you would never speak to someone you love?

• If your body could talk, what would it say it’s protecting you from?

A Different Way Forward

This is exactly why we do things differently inside Get Nourished.

We don’t start with control.
We don’t start with restriction.
We don’t start with fixing you.

We start with safety.

We explore the biological, psychological, and nervous-system layers beneath eating patterns — so your body no longer sees wanting to be a healthy weight as a threat.

Because when the body feels safe,
change doesn’t require force.

It unfolds.

If this story landed for you — if you recognise yourself in it — you’re not alone.

And there is another way.

✨ Click the link below to learn more about Get Nourished and how to rebuild trust with your body, not battle it.
Check it out HERE

Much love and bodily wisdom

Larissa xx